5 most common mistakes people do when introducing openness to their partner
1
Waiting for the ‘right’ time
‘The longer you wait, the harder it gets‘ – well this pretty worn out cliché actually has a bit of truth in it.
So let’s break it down a bit. The thing is, often when we wait we tend to build things up in our heads. Start to create scenarios around want could happen when we bring the subject up to our partners. Usually, this is not to our advantage since multiple scenarios and uncertainty in many cases create both worry and fear. Another thing about waiting is that your partner will most likely ask how long these thoughts have been wondering around in your head. So waiting for that perfect moment to tell someone something important can come with an ad-on of questions and emotions to hold.
2
Not knowing your ‘why’
All of us have a set of universal human needs, even tho they manifest in different ways it’s in these needs we can recognize and meet each other. My need for love might not look exactly the same as it does for you, but you can understand my need for love because you experience it too.
So to connect to your partner it’s important that the needs behind the curiosity to open up the relationship is found. It’s way easier to understand and relate to a need for freedom and exploration, then .. ‘well, it kind of seems like fun’.
3
Not taking time to put themselves in their partners situation
If we say space helmet, what are you thinking about?
Well, probably a space helmet, because that how the brain works. But let’s for fun say that you are thinking about exactly what we are trying to communicate with this questionable metafor. How easy it is to get caught up in your own little bubble of the universe, and how easy it is to forget other perspectives when the subject in mind can cause emotional tension. So putting oneself in the situation of the person how is receiving the message will be very helpful to connect and understand each other when the conversation take place.
4
Over share or under share
When we experience emotional build up or if a subject feels sensitive and uncomfortable to discuss we tend to either talk a little bit too much to fill the void, or the words just seem to get stuck no matter how hard you try to express yo
5
Not asking for support
No we don’t have to manage everything on our own, even tho the subject can feel sensitive or private. Often when we share something that take up headspace or concern us the load gets a lot easier. When we share we invite in new perspectives to look at the situation we’re in.
When we want to open up . .
We have now gone through some of the most common mistakes people do when they want to introduce openness into their relationship.
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